Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Meltdown, Epiphany, Repeat.

I'm transitioning my way out of a period of despair:
I've been killing myself with school, and I finally realized what's wrong with that.

James 4:14~
Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.

from The Tempest, W. Shakespeare~
Our revels now are ended. These are actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

4:17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.

Life here, right now, is miniscule.

Life is just too too too short to be wasting time doing things that aren't good and that don't make you happy-- and NOT doing things that make you truly happy. It's too short to be wasting it being miserable!

Life is too transitory, too precious to waste to not ALWAYS be LIVING. That's right, living. Enjoying life and having Real Life Experiences-- exercising and eating healthy and getting enough sleep and reading those books that you've always wanted to but never had time for.

Real Life Experiences like falling in love and it fading over time and falling in love and holding onto it for Ever. Real Life Experiences like spending time with a true friend and making time to really read the scriptures and getting to know your FHE family and being creative because dammit if you're not creating what are you contributing?

Forget needing to get straight A's, forget having to prove yourself! Forget petty ambition or fear of being cliche or of being vulnerable. Forget putting Real Life Experiences on hold because you just don't have time for it right now, you have to get through school first.

This is Your Life, right now. There is no other time for Real Life Experiences! It's time twelve years ago to start living.

Amy, be happy. Do what makes you the happiest-- and I mean True Happiness, not eat-a-whole-bag-of-Milky-Ways happiness that ends up feeling more like fattiness. I mean looking at life as the teeny blip on heaven's chronological radar that it is, and to start making it the best Experience that you can, today, right now, every minute. Making yourself the Best person you're capable of.